Dreaming the Impossible
by Daughter of Gallifrey
Summary: This is a story about how Rose and the Doctor reveal their feelings for each other, and what happens to their relationship. 9/Rose. It takes place after The Doctor Dances, when they're just starting their travels with Captain Jack.
1. Chapter 1: The Doctor flushes

Her blond hair shone like a halo in the dim lighting of the TARDIS kitchen. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I'm here, otherwise she would have smiled and greeted me. Her smile. Now THAT is an event I would go back to see over and over if I could...something bright and dear to my heart, even with all the darkness clouding it. Maybe I should say something to her. I don't want her to think I'm a creepy old man, watching her in the dark. "Hello, Rose!" "Oi! Doctor, what are you doing there, in the dark?" She seemed a little confused and still sleepy. "Oh, just brooding. You know, last of the Time Lords, all that business." Likely excuse. She might buy it. The TARDIS decided to brighten the lights then, just a little. "Well, how's about you set the kettle on, and make us a cuppa." Pretty commanding, the little ape. Little does she know the lengths I would go for her. "Alright." Wow. Really stunning. Does she always make me this eloquent? "So what are you really doing, Doctor? I know you don't sleep as much as I do, but usually you're tinkerin' at the control panel or finding something scientific to read. Somethin' on your mind?"

Luckily, right at that moment, the kettle whistled. Saved by tea! I poured us each a cuppa, and then sat down across from her at the table. "There's always something on my mind, Rose. Big a brain as I've got, there's always something going on. Lots of thinking in this daft old head." "Oh." She looked into her tea. That's great. Remind her once again how much better than her you are, idiot. Shut it! I can't have her feeling this way all the time. I can at least pretend better than she could. Little passionate Humans have much more trouble hiding their feelings away. Can't encourage that. Last thing the TARDIS wants is to have us running around, doing...those sorts of things all over the place. Not that she'd want to. Not anything special to look at, me. Not with these huge ears.

"Doctor? You seem somewhere else." Ooops. Too much thinking. I've been doing a lot of that lately. "Sorry Rose. Must be gettin' contemplative in my old age." Rose smiled at me then, looking almost like she was holding in a laugh. "So, there IS somethin' on your mind then? Not just all guilt and sadness and brooding? You look upset when you brood...this time, you just seem preoccupied." Oh Rose, if you only knew! Has it ever been this hard to stop looking in your eyes? Lovely brown drops of beauty, set in that gorgeous face. "Doctor, you alright?" "What? Of course! Fantastic! Why wouldn't I be?" Rose studied me for a moment, then leaned forward and placed her hand on my head. "I swear, Doctor, you look like you've got a fever! Do Time Lords ever get fevers? I mean, I know you've told me that your body temperature is cooler than mine, but you do feel a bit warm." I felt my own face, wondering when I had forgotten how to hide a blush. I did feel rather flushed. "Well, I've never had a fever before, that I can remember. Maybe I should head to the med bay anyway, just in case. Well, see you tomorrow, Rose!" And with that, I fled to the med bay.


	2. Chapter 2: Rose plans

Well that was strange. The Doctor doesn't usually act like that. He almost looked...lovesick? Nah, not the Doctor. Mr. Impersonal-avoiding-all-my-advances-despite-me-being-really-obvious. There's no way he'd had time to pick up some other love interest...and he definitely can't be moonin' over me. No way. I mean, I've tried to make it clear that I'm interested. I've flirted. I've worn tight tops. I've worn tight jeans. I've done up my make-up real nice. I've even been walking closer to him, holdin' on to him wherever we go, and brushing up against him whenever the chance presents itself. How could he not see it? Unless he's just like every other bloke I've ever met-completely oblivious. Well, I don't want to push him. Maybe he'll eventually realize...no. If I really want him to know, I'll have to tell him. There's no gettin' around that. Hmmm, maybe Jack'll know what to do. I should convince the Doctor to pick him up, and have him help me plan a nice romantic picnic for me and the Doctor. Then maybe he'll notice. He really is an extraordinary man. How could a girl not fall for him? Looks like I've got some planning to do!


	3. Chapter 3: The Doctor admires

Maybe if I rinse off in the shower, I'll cool down. _How many cold showers is that this week_? "More than I can count, my dear ship, thanks for reminding me." _She doesn't feel all that differently you know._ "What? And just what do you mean by that?" _Her feelings for you, Theta. Why can't you accept them?_ "I don't know what you're talking about. I refuse to let you give me false hope where I know there can be none!" Her hum of disapproval was all the answer I got. "Fine, just be that way, bloody female ship, tryin' to play matchmaker." And then she shocked me. Hard. While I was in the shower. "OUCH! How DARE you shock me like that? Just because I don't want to play along with you!" I tenderly stepped out of the shower, opening drawer after drawer, looking for the salve I know is in here somewhere. "Well, if you're goin' to shock me, at least let me fix my bloody feet so that I can walk!" When I turned around, the salve was sitting on the counter. "Thanks." Bloody ship. I would love to think that Rose...that I...but that could never be. I could never have her for myself, but I can certainly dream the impossible. "What are you humming at? Reading my thoughts, are you? Well, you can leave me alone with my thoughts, thank you very much." Sometimes it wasn't so great havin' a ship inside your head.

_some time later…_

"Doctor?" By the sound of her voice, I had a feeling that she wanted something. "Yes, Rose?" Might as well play along. "I was wondering if we could pick up Jack a little early." We had dropped him off on Betelgeuse IV, a pleasure planet we happened to be near at the time. Between him eyein' Rose like she was his next conquest, and Rose flirtin' back with him, I made the decision for him that he deserved a little vacation. "You sure about that, Rose? He's a walking seduction machine. What if he tries to put the moves on you again?" Rose laughed at that. I didn't think it was funny. "He might, but there's no way I'd actually fall for it this time, since I'd know what he'd be up to." I pulled my head out of the control panel I'd been working in, to look Rose in the eyes. Big mistake. In order to get to her eyes, I had to take in her entire outfit on the way. "Rose? What exactly are you wearing?" I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped onto the TARDIS floor. Hopefully I recovered before she was done checking out herself out, trying to figure out my dismay no doubt. "What is wrong with what I have on? It's just a t-shirt and jeans, Doctor, same as any day." If this was the same old outfit, I was a dog with no nose. "Excuse me, but since when have you ever worn jeans that snug and a t-shirt that shows off all yo..." There was that blush again. Damnit! Why can I not control my reaction to this little human? "See somethin' you like, Doctor?" Clearing my throat, I finally met her eyes, not without passing the smirk in her grin on the way up. "Just admirin' your handiwork. Jack, then? He should be done by now; pleasure planets are only fun for so long." Rose looked at me, confused at first and then skeptically. "Oh, is that so? And here I thought you didn't dance, Doctor." I really hope she had decided to ignore my comment about her outfit, and was talking about my knowledge of pleasure planets. "Well don't you think you're so funny, Ms. Tyler." That twinkle in her eyes said she definitely thought so. "For your information, I don't dance. Not with the likes of humans anyway. Time Lord superiority and all that. Forbidden. Must have stuck with me." I'd really stuck my foot in my mouth with that one. I knew she had been trying her best to flirt with me. Had been for what seemed like ages now. Ever since we had first picked up Jack, and I had made sure that he knew she was off-limits. Maybe that declaration had made Rose think...well it was true. She was off-limits. Especially to Jack. No matter what Rose thought about it. There was no way he was going to have what I can't and then rub it in my face on my ship. And now, here I was, trying to push her away, not even giving her a chance to get friendly with anyone else. What am I, her dad? I'd like to think not. And now she's pouting at me, and wondering if I'm ever going to say anything, I bet. "Nothin' against you, Rose. I just...don't." "Oh, Doctor, you know I'm just teasin'. Why do have to go gettin' all broody on me? Come on, let's go get Jack. Maybe he'll lighten the mood a bit, yeah?" Oh Rose, all that man does is drive me crazy. "Fine. Let's go track him down." Rose, you will be the death of me.


	4. Chapter 4: Jack wonders

Hmmm, that was the TARDIS. I wonder why they're here so early? Maybe the Doctor misses me? Nah, I wouldn't be so lucky. I'd better get ready to meet them where I told them I'd be. I hope they haven't had any adventures without me! "Hey, Rosie! Doc! What are you two doin' here so early? I mean, you shouldn't be here for another week!" The man has a time machine, and he picks me up early from a vacation that he himself made me take? What gives? I bet Rose had something to do with this...just lookin' at that expression on her face...wonder what she's up to.

"Well, Jack, Rose thought we should come get you a little early, go out for an adventure or two. Lighten the mood or somethin'." He didn't seem convinced. Does the Doctor really hate me that much? "So what do you say? Up for it, Captain?" Somehow the light in the Doctor's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Maybe I should look to Rose for an answer. Rose glared at the Doctor, and then turned her eyes on me, almost...pleading? "I'm touched, guys. But it is awfully nice here...I wouldn't mind a few more days." Rose looked so sad that I immediately took it back. "BUT if you really want me to come along, who am I to refuse? I mean, all of space and time at the touch of a button?" The smile Rose gave me then almost blinded me. That smile could only mean one of two things: she wanted to dance with me, or she wanted to dance with the Doctor. I'm sure she'll find a way to let me know once we're back on the TARDIS. "Let me just tell my new friends goodbye, and I'll be ready." I walked over to the young couple I had been with for the past few days, left them my contact information and a winning smile, and then headed back to catch up with Rose and the Doctor. From that angle, it was hard to tell who I was more attracted to, but I sure wouldn't mind giving them both a piece of my mind.


	5. Chapter 5: Rose runs

Back in the TARDIS, I decided that I would convince Jack to come talk to me in the library. Leaving the Doctor to set the coordinates for the vortex, I grabbed hold of Jack's arm and steered him away. "So, Jack. I have a proposition for you." The look in his eyes surprised me; I explained quickly, before he could get the wrong idea. "I really like the Doctor." "Oh?" Somehow, even though he sounded surprised, I had a feeling he already knew. "And I was wondering if you could give me any advice on how to tell him." His eyebrows arched up; I had to fight back a giggle. "What do you need my help for, Rosie? You told me easily enough." He had a good point. "But Jack! I've tried to drop every hint possible. I've worn revealing and tight clothes. I've made suggestive hints. I've brushed up against him when we hold hands. I've done everything you told me to do! Nothing! The man is either completely oblivious or he doesn't want me." I frowned at that. "I really wanted him to want me. I know I'm not a Time Lady or an immortal type alien, but I am a woman, and I know I have needs, and I want him to be the one to cater to me." I looked up at Jack to see him peering over my shoulder with a masked expression. "Oh great. He's behind us, isn't he." Jack nodded and, summoning courage I didn't know I had, I turned around and looked him straight in the face. "Hello Rose." What was that in his eyes...he almost looked...surprised and pleased? "Doctor...I uh...well...umm I'll just be heading to my room then." I turned around and practically ran to my room. I'm pretty sure the TARDIS moved my room, because I felt like I was running for the longest time. When I finally managed to reach my room, I almost cried in relief. As I reached out to turn the doorknob, a hand on my shoulder scared me out of panic. "Rose, are you alright?" It was the Doctor, standing behind me. "You rushed away before I could say anything to you." He sounded hesitant. "Well, next time you get caught gossiping about a bloke you think highly of, you tell me how easy it is not to run away. I'm do embarrassed I could cry." What was I saying? Why did all that come out? "Why are you going to cry, Rose? I thought liking someone was a happy event." Now he sounded almost amused. Was he making fun of me? "Doctor..I..it's not what you think. I don't like anyone." Damn. This isn't how I wanted to tell him! I wanted to plan an elaborate romantic picnic or make him show me the rest of the gardens or something. "So what's the problem then?" He was going to make me say it! Right here, in the bloody hall outside my room, no romance at all. I couldn't bear to turn around. "You, Doctor. You're my problem." Damn damn damn, that came out all wrong! Well, it was partly true.

Gripping my shoulder, he turned me around to face him. That didn't mean I'd have to look him in the eyes, though. Or so I thought, until he pulled my chin up with his fingers. "And what have I done that's made your life so awful? You know, besides offerin' you all of time and space and adventure and more than you could ev..." "Doctor! It's not that..I'm not ungrateful at all." Ugh! I should just spit it out, get that smirk off his face. Which was extremely close to mine right at that moment. I hadn't noticed him moving closer until he was about two inches away, his breath softly brushing my cheek. "Than what is it that's got your little heart pounding so fast, Ms. Tyler?" Barely above a whisper, his voice caressed my ear, and I was pretty sure my knees were going to give out at any second.

"Doctor...I..um..well..I love you." I wasn't sure he'd heard me, my voice felt so small. When he pulled away from me, I didn't want to imagine the look on his face, so I clamped my eyes shut, and wished I could melt into my door. "I know you can't possibly love me back, and I know that you don't dance, Doctor, so please don't say anything. I'm sorry I ever said anything. I'll just go to bed now, and pretend this never happened, yeah?" Fumbling with my doorknob, I struggled to get away from him. I tried turning, to head into my room, but he held me there against the door. Which wasn't opening anyway. I silently cursed the TARDIS. I'm pretty sure she had something to do with that. "I don't think so, Rose." His voice...it was lower and huskier, something I hadn't expected at all. Drawing a breath, I took a chance and opened my eyes. What I saw in his eyes was something I had not in a million years thought I would see. Happiness. Desire. Need. Love...? That couldn't be right. My Doctor, who hadn't even noticed a single hint I had thrown his way, was looking at me like I was the only person in the entire universe he wanted to be around.

"Doctor?" I hoped I didn't sound too vulnerable, but I wasn't so sure I could. After all, I had just confessed my love for this man who was an alien, traveled around in a blue box, never landing anywhere he wanted to, who had gotten us in and out of trouble more times than I could count, and who had made it abundantly clear that he was not interested. But that look, that gleam in his eyes...that said something else entirely. "Oh, Rose" he began, looking at me so intently I had to fight the urge to look away, "how could you ever love someone like me? I mean, I've killed my own race! I've done terrible things. I don't deserve anyone as fantastic as you, Rose. As much as I've wante..." His expression plainly showed the grief he kept locked up all the time, and so I did the only thing I could think of-I kissed him.

TBC


End file.
